The fact that I’m writing this shows how much my life has changed since starting Kristy Vail’s coaching sessions.  In the past, I was extremely self-critical and afraid to share my writings with the world....well look at me now!  But let me go back a few steps...

Full disclosure, Kristy and I were friends before I started her coaching program.  But I was at a really low point in my life, which Kristy could sense (because she is AMAZING like that) and asked if I would like to take one of her coaching programs.  At that point, and I mean this in the nicest way, I had nothing left to lose so I chose to take her “Explore & Accept Yourself” program.  And what a life changing program it was!  I was planning a big trip in a few months and as the date approached, I didn’t feel mentally prepared for it.  I was going to a really awesome city with people I barely knew and everything was prepaid, so there was no backing out.  I really wanted to have a fun time on the trip but feared that I was the odd woman out and would either spend it alone or as an outsider of the group.  Not only did we accomplish the goal of having a great time (I had an amazing time), but we surpassed it. I did almost everything in the city that was on my list and I gained at least one really close new friend out of it.  I also learned how powerful I was and that I had a voice that deserved to be heard.  I stood up for myself and didn’t cower to peer pressure (i.e. if I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t).  I realized that group activities doesn’t always have to mean EVERY person on the trip has to participate.  So I did things on my own and some one-on-one things with the others.  I had the courage to opt out of certain group activities that weren’t of interest without the fear of upsetting the others.   In the past, my insecurities used to be so bad that I never wanted to upset anyone and went along with what others were doing.  Looking back, I missed out on a lot by succumbing to that fear; that saying no would lead to rejection and the end of relationships.  Isn’t anxiety is a beast?!?!.  Kristy helped me see that this isn’t the case, and by setting up routines to help ease any anxiety while traveling, I was able to get out of my own head and live in the moment for the first time.  I told everyone when I got back that this had been the first time I truly felt like I was on vacation, which was due to Kristy’s coaching.

Kristy helped me see that the things that I feel insecure about are also things that make me special and magnetic.  My quiet demeanor does not mean I’m antisocial, but that I’m an introvert who needs time to process information before reacting.  That doing things on my own does not mean that I’m distant, but that I’m someone who needs alone time to recharge.  These realizations were the result of the personality tests that we did before our first session.  We would review the findings and see if or how much I could relate.  I would say 90% of each test was accurate, and it helped me readjust many of my daily activities. I didn’t realize what a perfectionist and people-pleaser I was until it was staring me in the face in black and white. I would bend over backwards to make sure everyone else was happy, forgetting about the most important person (ME!).  I always assumed that I had done something to make a person mad and would waste so much energy trying to analyze the situation to figure out where I went wrong.  It’s not about being self-absorbed or selfish, it’s about understanding that the negative thoughts going on in my head are unhealthy, and that others may be feeling the exact same way, so let them, just as I would hope they would do for me.

Week after week, we began to peal back the layers, the many (MANY) walls I had built for protection.  Feeling years of rejection, I lost sight of who I was.  I remember being a funny, silly, weird girl who loved fashion, music, writing poetry and dancing in her room, but that girl seemed so far away.  With our weekly sessions, I slowly found that part of myself again.  Scratch that. I found a better version of myself.  I am more understanding and accepting of others, and more into self expression through clothing than ever before.  But honestly, the main difference is that this version of me expects and demands the same from others.  Don’t you dare try to dim my light...this girl does not have time for that anymore.  Fair-weather friends are a thing of the past.  I want lifelong friendships, people who will be there for me though all my ups and downs.  Through Kristy’s guidance, she helped me see that I am worthy of love, friends, all of it.

A very quick summary of some amazing things I did with her help and guidance,  I was able to confront my brother about an long standing issue, without yelling or tears, which we had never done in my life.  My relationship with my mother greatly improved as I’ve set up healthy boundaries with her and she has accepted them.  I told a guy I liked him, and although it didn’t work out, the rejection wasn’t devastating and I know I will find someone else.  I’m planning a solo trip for later in the year.  I’ve been to more concerts this year than I have in my entire lifetime, including going to them solo.  I’ve gotten closer with coworkers and have learned to ask for help from my supervisor when I’m feeling burnt out.  Learning to ask for help is no small feat but is so necessary for your mental health.  I would love to keep going but I think you get the general idea.

To anyone thinking of investing in coaching with Kristy, I ask you to do it.  I spent my whole life never feeling seen, and now I’m writing a testimonial for everyone to see (with a picture!!!).  Trust me, you will not regret it! Not for one moment or one second.  The work will be difficult and challenging at times.  The only way this works is if you are honest with Kristy and more importantly, honest with yourself.  She will ask you things that you may not feel ready to answer, but believe me you are.  Trust in her guidance.  And if you ever need her in between sessions, she is only an email away.  She loves to hear about the good things happening in your life as much as the bad.   My work with Kristy has absolutely been life saving, life changing and the best money I have ever spent and may ever spend on myself.  You are worth it.  I will say that again...YOU ARE WORTH IT.  She is here to help others shine and been seen.  There is no feeling in the world like it and I’m at a loss for words to describe the first time that I felt seen.

Kristy Vail has a plan for you, whether it’s for personal matters, work, or whatever it is that you feel is holding you back from being your true authentic self.  She has found her calling, for which I will be forever grateful.  In all honestly, and even though she’s given me the tools I need to that I don’t have to (which she loves to tell me lol), I would do this every week if I could.  I love this girl so much and you will too!
— Lauren B. (Executive Assistant)


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